Don't worry, bedwetting is surprisingly common. Around one in eight children starting primary school today still wet the bed regularly at night. Fortunately there is hope, as bedwetting becomes less common as children get older. Around 5% of 10 year olds (that's one in twenty) and 2% of 12 to 14 year olds (one in fifty) still wet the bed. It's a commonly known fact also that bedwetting is more common in boys then girls. Some wet the bed every night, whilst others only wet the bed once or twice a week. Some children can stay dry for a week or longer between episodes of bed wetting.

Why Do Children Wet The Bed?

Firstly and most importantly, it is essential as a parent you understand that in most cases children do NOT wet the bed simply because they are lazy, stupid, sick or disobedient. It is far more common that the child who is wetting the bed simply hasn't yet learnt how to control their bladder whilst sleeping. When the bladder is full, it sends a signal to the brain to tighten the muscles around the bladder to keep the urine in. In some children, the brain does not hear the message whilst they are sleeping. Instead the muscles around the bladder relax and the bladder lets the urine out.

It isn't currently known why some children develop this night time bladder control ability quicker then others. However there is some evidence supporting heredity, many children who frequently wet the bed have a parent who was also a regular bed wetter. Occasionally you find a child that has previously learnt how to stay dry overnight has started bedwetting again. When this happens it is quite often a sign that the child is going through a difficult time that they are anxious or stressed. Bedwetting often occurs when children are going through times of family disruption such as divorce, remarriage, the birth of a sibling, or the hospitalisation or death of a family member. In fact urinating more often then usual can be a sign of stress in children and adults alike. If a child is unwell they may need to urinate more often and as such may wet the bed. However in most cases there is no medical reason, there is also very little evidence to support any relationship between allergies and bedwetting.

What Can Parents Do?

Set Up Your Child's Bedroom

A nightlight can be very useful, also make sure your child can get in and out of bed easily, and avoid flannelette pyjamas and heavy bedding (such as a duvet). These make it hard for your child to feel when they are wetting and wake up. Nappies are not recommended for children over 3; instead protect the mattress with a waterproof under sheet.

Praise Your Child For having a Dry Night

Give your child plenty of praise following a dry night. When they wake up in the morning with a dry bed, revel in their delight and make sure they know they have done something special. You may like to give your child a special treat, such as a favourite snack in their lunch box or some special time with Mum or Dad.

Stay Calm When Your Child Wets

It's important not to punish or embarrass your child if they wet the bed, it is better to say nothing then to complain. You should always avoid such comments as when are you going to grow up? Or I'm sick of cleaning up your mess!

Encourage Responsibility

Surprisingly restricting drinks and taking your child to toilet during the night can actually have the opposite effect to what your aiming as it can interfere with the learning process, obviously you may find your child has less bedwetting in the short term, but because the bladder may not actually be full during the night, your child won't have the opportunity to learn the connection between full bladder signals and waking up. Also by taking your child to the toilet at night, you can actually be teaching them to urinate whilst they are still asleep. The best course of action to take is to have your child assist you in changing the bed linen. Make sure your child washes before going to school to avoid being teased over an unpleasant odour.

Prepare Your Child For Disappointments

Stopping bedwetting and staying dry at night can take a lot of time. Make sure your child is aware of this by explaining to them that everyone has set backs whilst they are learning.

Respect Your Child's Right to Privacy

Only ever discuss your child's bedwetting with your child and specialists. Don't forget they do get embarrassed about it, and they may not feel comfortable talking to you about other problems if they think your going to tell everyone.

When Should Parents Seek Help?

If your child is 5 or over and wets the bed at least twice a week, you might want to seek professional help. However, you may prefer to wait. Bedwetting is likely to happen less often as your child gets older. It's important to seek help if bedwetting upsets or worries your child, or prevents them from doing things they would like to do, such as sleep overs or camp.

How To Get Help

Visit your Doctor

Take your child for an examination to make sure there isn't a medical reason for the bedwetting.

Get a referral

Your Doctor could refer you to a specialist, make sure they have experience with bedwetting, and find out what their approach is.

Be Prepared to Answer Questions

Your specialist will ask you a lot of questions about family health history, and your child's development history, this is to ensure they can offer you the most suitable treatment for the bedwetting problem.

Ask Questions

Be prepared to ask some questions, for instance;

How long will it take

What's involved

What's the usual success rate

What will you be required to do

What is the cost (if any)

Consider the Treatment Options

The Bell and Pad

The Bell and Pad is a urine sensitive pad that is connected to a battery operated alarm. The pad is placed under the sheet on the bed. When your child bed wets, and the urine touches the pad, the bell sounds and wakes the child. The child then turns off the bell, gets up and finishes urinating in the toilet. The child begins to associate the sound of the ringing bell with the sensation of the full bladder. Eventually the child learns to wake and go to the toilet before the alarm sounds.

The bell and pad is the most common and successful treatment of bedwetting. Using this system most children learn to overcome bedwetting and start to have dry nights. However some children do start to wet the bed again and need to use the bell and pad a second time, this occasion is usually successful.

You should be prepared for a few disturbed nights as you will need to check your child wakes up and goes to the toilet when the bell sounds. Help your child take responsibility for getting out of wet clothing, washing themselves, removing wet sheets and taking them to the laundry, and remaking their bed. Praise your child for waking and going to the toilet and for any time they have a dry night.

The specialist you see about the bedwetting will ask you to keep track of your child's progress, dry nights and bedwetting etc. The bell and pad is usually kept on your child's bed for a fortnight of dry nights in a row. Once you have reached this point you can do what is referred to as "over learning" , this is where you encourage your child to drink as much as possible between the evening meal and their bedtime, then again continue with the bell and pad system until your child has another 14 dry nights.

Your bedwetting specialist may also recommend other methods such as;

Retention training. This helps your child to increase their bladder capacity. Children are asked to drink fluids and to wait for longer periods during the day before toilet visits (not longer then 1 or 2 hours).

Control training. This helps children gain more control over their muscles. Your child will be asked to stop and start the flow of urine (three to five times) when they are using the toilet.

Toilet routine. This will help your child learn what to do if they need to go to the toilet during the night. Your child would be asked to practice getting out of bed and walking to the toilet a number of times before they go to sleep.

Behaviour Charts

Using a behaviour chart can encourage your child to cooperate with a new night time routine or treatment plan that you may have for bedwetting. You can also give your child treats or rewards for any dry night they may have, maybe even increasing in value depending on how many simultaneous dry nights they may have had. Do not, however, offer rewards for a dry night, if your child wets the bed every night, this will only lead to disappointment and discouragement.

Medication

On its own, drug treatment is extremely rarely an effective long term solution. The vast majority of children relapse just as soon as they are taken off the medication.

Summary

Although it may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel this problem will fade as your child gets older. Be assured that you are not alone and it is something that will get better. Seek advise and medical help if you feel that is the right path for you and your family. The bed wetting will stop and night time toiling issues will become a thing of the past which will be fantastic for not only you but your child too.